I don’t know how
things suddenly went crazy. Everything
was just moving along in a normal pattern; plants were growing, cuttings were
rooting, customers were loading up their Landscape operations and Retail Garden
Centers with inventory….in fact, it was the definition of a perfect early spring
season.
The trouble
started with a small green blotch. It
first appeared like a delicate frond of a fern laying on the soil in the plant
flat…but it was no fern. It was the
first scouts leading the way for an alien invasion from the planet LIVERWORT.
Within days a
soft green layer of this Alien scum covered the soil layer smothering the
plants. It quickly spread to the Nursery
Staff, covering their skin and clothing with its vile growth, attaching itself
with its small hair like “roots”. It was clear that the World as we knew it
might have a new master.
Just when all
hope was lost, all efforts by the Military and the Dow Chemical Herbicide
Department had proved futile, a slight glimmer of hope shone through the storm. The weapon was simple. In trial and error tests of vinegar, Clorox,
detergents, and other common household items one brave freedom fighter spilled
a little Arm & Hammer Baking Soda on the Alien scourge.
“It just wilts
away!” shouted one of the rebel horticulturalist freedom fighters. “Look! The plants above are untouched but the
Alien LIVERWORT is tuning into a brown mush!”
“Muster the F-16
crop dusters!” shouted the General in charge of the world defense effort. “Go
to Sam’s Club and Costco, find all the Baking Soda on the planet, and mount a
counter attack! Here……use my Visa so I
can get the credit card points.”
Soon Nursery
employees armed with backpack dusters were beating back the Alien
invasion. With a couple of applications,
(when the foliage is dry), the nuisance pest can be virtually annihilated with
zero harm to the plants and the environment.
“Some of the
spores will survive” warned scientists. “We must be vigilant to continue spot
applications to control the population.
Once the plants leave the easy environment of the greenhouse, the
LIVERWORT can only survive in moist, shady environments. Our greenhouses are
safe for plants and Mankind!”
A great cheer
arose from all across the world. Children could now sleep safe in their beds. Gardeners could now come out into the light!
Brian Decker
Il Presidente
Propagator
Tee-Shirt Model